| Hillary
Announces Shes Running for the Presidency
New: Blog -- Hillary for President
Analyzing trends, the media, relationships with other candidates in both parties. Insightful, funny, mostly objective.
Howard
Dean is the Expected Running Mate *
---- by Anthony Trendl, ALT News Service
----
editor of hungarianbookstore.com CHICAGO
-- In a bold, unorthodox move, Hillary Clinton, famous for her strong, contentious
liberal views and carpet bagging, has announced today at the Playboy Mansion in
Chicago that she will run for the presidency in the 2004 National Election. Mrs.
Clinton spoke about how she would bring America to the underpaid factory worker
and to the stay-at-home mom. Beside her applauding were billionaire investor Sam
Zell and Playboy's CEO Christie Hefner.
see
also:
Condi
vs. Hillary : The Next Great Presidential Race
The
Case for Hillary Clinton
Madame
Hillary : The Dark Road to the White House
This is unusual, as though
her necessary papers were filed in late October, keeping the option open, her
continued statements about running were to the contrary. Since politicians are
not known for dishonesty, no one expected this maneuver. Moreover, with only a
few months left until the election, her move is risky, putting all pundits into
a frenzy for predictions. "Our entire polling system is in disarray,"
said George Gallup of Gallup Polls, "and we are now realigning our approach
for phone surveys this weekend. This is a boon for the survey business."
Initial and preliminary results should be published here on Monday.
Worse
Than Watergate: The Secret Presidency of George W. Bush
Dereliction
of Duty: The Eyewitness Account of How Bill Clinton Endangered Americas Long-Term
National Security
MoveOns
50 Ways to Love Your Country: How to Find Your Political Voice and Become a Catalyst
for Change
With Senator John Kerry as the Democratic candidate, and
President George Bush running as a Republican, Mrs. Clinton will be running as
a third party candidate, much in the fashion of Ross Perot and Theodore Roosevelt.
Ten
Minutes from Normal
Bush
Country : How Dubya Became a Great President While Driving Liberals Insane
A
National Party No More: The Conscience of a Conservative Democrat
Her
party will be called the Its About Me Party, and will focus on a skewed derivation
of John F. Kennedys famous call to national unity and service. Mrs. Clintons slogan
will read, "Its not what you can do for the country, but what the country
should do for you," reflecting the new wave of Democratic thinking. She will
streamline all speeches about this as she soapboxes at college campuses, homeless
shelters and yacht clubs across America.
An
Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy, 1917-1963
Legacy
: Paying the Price for the Clinton Years
The
Rise of Theodore Roosevelt (Modern Library Paperbacks)
Ross
Perot : The Man Behind the Myth
Howard
Dean, although already announcing his support of Mr. Kerry, is being rumored as
the running mate. Mr. Dean, who was squashed in the primaries after his off-key
primal scream, will stump the country, hoping to re-attract the teenage voters
who once visited his website. President Bush has already conceded that the 18-19
year old demographic is probably lost, and that the Republicans instead will need
to highlight issues important to working adults.
Howard
Dean : A Citizens Guide to the Man Who Would Be President
Winning
Back America
The
Official Handbook of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
Tour
of Duty : John Kerry and the Vietnam War
Should Mrs. Clinton win, her
cabinet will be revolutionary, although in-tow with her personal beliefs. Unnamed
sources claim National Organization of Women president Kim Gandy will be offered
the Secretary of Health and Human Services spot, Planned Parenthood president
Gloria Feldt will head up the Secretary of Education spot, National Abortion and
Reproductive Rights Action League president Kate Michelman will be Secretary of
the Interior. Jesse Jackson -- known for his hot air -- will handle all Secretary
of Energy efforts. Unlike President Bush who appointed a Democrat (Norman Yoshio
Mineta, Secretary of Transportation), Mrs. Clinton is not expected to have as
balanced a cabinet. Other cabinets positions were not suggested at this time.
Some have mentioned that Mrs. Clinton may put the Secretary of Defense position
on hiatus.
Deliver
Us from Evil: Defeating Terrorism, Despotism, and Liberalism
Black
Stars of the Civil Rights Movement
Hell
to Pay: The Unfolding Story of Hillary Rodham Clinton
If elected, her
immediate days in office will work toward abortion rights for youth, gay marriages
and the dissolution of the standard "one man, one woman" definition
of the modern marriage, and the elimination of parental decision making in their
childrens lives. Her de facto position will not be as bohemian as it sounds, as
she will continue to live with her legalhusband, William Clinton, who once held
the presidency himself. Mrs. Clinton declined to describe the role Monica Lewinsky
might play in her election hopes.
House
of Bush, House of Saud: The Secret Relationship Between the Worlds Two Most Powerful
Dynasties
Forgiven
and Set Free: A Post-Abortion Bible Study for Women
The
Healing Choice : Your Guide to Emotional Recovery After an Abortion
When
interviewed on "Meet the Press," Mrs. Clinton said, "Children 1,000
years ago had twice the privileges they have now. They married younger, they worked
younger, and they had children younger. We need the youth of today to take back
America." She reminded audiences that it will still take a village to raise
those children, but that they should not expect the village to control them.
Civil
Wars: A Battle for Gay Marriage
Marriage
and Same-Sex Unions : A Debate
Shakedown:
Exposing the Real Jesse Jackson
Conservative
groups are alarmed, worried that repercussions of Mrs. Clintons platform could
result in an increase of liberal cartoons on PBS.
A
Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples
The
Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House, and the Education of Paul ONeill
Bringing
Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation
of Men
Hardcore Republicans, as well as as moderates, will continue
to support President Bush. It is unknown how this news will affect Mr. Kerrys
chances. For
another, unrealistic fantasy charming today's youth, try Harry
Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6). -----------------------
*
By now, everyones upset. The ardent Republicans might think I am a complete liberal
Democrat, and the committed Democrats might think I am a right-winger. Either
way, it is all in good fun. Mr. Kerry had more votes than any other presidential
candidate in history, except for George W. Bush, who beat him soundly. Mrs. Clinton
appears now to be running for the 2008 campaign. by
the editors of the HungarianBookstore.com
April
2004
Books From Both Sides and Beyond
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